After yesterday’s post, I enjoyed reading a wide variety of reactions to how Rick Warren interacted with Alan Colmes. There were some good observations, especially regarding how there is a big difference between TV interviews and real life conversations. While we don’t have any of those on video to show you, LaWayne wrote a great post last week on one of her interactions with a co-worker and finding common ground with her.
It reminded me of the passage in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 where Paul says, “Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings” (NLT) The NIV translates verse 22 as this: “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” This is the reality that most of us live in–being in the world but not of it and trying to authentically share our faith–and we must look for common ground with others.
Read LaWayne’s post below and share your thoughts on some of the questions below:
I remember a conversation I had with a co-worker. She and I had absolutely differing opinions on a topic she felt passionately about. At first I found myself getting angry because she wasn’t even willing to listen to my viewpoint, but then I realized we both really wanted the same thing – we just disagreed about how to get there. I told her what I realized, and even though we never did come to an agreement, she felt respected and heard, and I no longer felt attacked. We parted as friends.
That experience helped me see that I need to respect everyone’s right to believe differently than I do, and to not lose sight of the common ground we share.
We live in a culture that is looking for answers when all the “old” answers just don’t seem to fit any more. It’s time we stopped parroting the old lines and let the world see that we are willing to participate in true conversation where we actually respect the other person. If we walk away still disagreeing, it is okay, because we will have earned the right to continue the discussion at another time. And who knows? Now and then I find people on the outside see what I’m missing on the inside.
Questions for today’s discussion:
1) What does “being all things to all men” mean in today’s culture?
2) Share a story of an interaction you might have had where this occurred.
11 responses so far ↓
Liana Potter // December 9, 2008 at 12:53 pm
A while back I wrote a paper on spiritual autism, and how God wants to restore relationship with us. My son has autism, and the program we are doing with him is called “Relationship Development Intervention.” There are many Biblical parallels — and this program was the basis or outline of the paper. The point here, is that I was able to share this paper with my neighbor across the street — all about authentically drawing closer to God, allowing Him to reach out to us, one step at a time, never giving us more than we can handle. (in our own parallel spiritual dysfunction) She has a background in child development, and our kids all play together. It was a natural way to share our testimony without getting into doctrine or debates. She loved it! She says she’s read it about 14 times and has shared it with her husband, and her mother — who also has a masters in education and child development. Her mother has asked if she can keep a copy…
They haven’t left Mormonism or started attending Vineyard — but I am able to plant seeds by being a true friend and also being transparent and authentic about my own faith. And I genuinely love this family too. They’re wonderful. I also trust God — that He is able to continue to reach out to them as they reach out to Him. He can find ways.
Corey // December 9, 2008 at 11:09 pm
I am a remodeling carpenter and work with some subs that are not Christian. I think that “to be all things to all men”, is to encourage and show acceptance. I don’t see that the world is encouraging to anyone unless it will get something in return. I recently had a sub call me and asked if I could help him with a problem. He has given me some “freebies” so I was ready for the “pay back.” His friend had just lost his life while drinking and driving an ATV. He was angry and wanted to be listened to. I was shocked that he would even think to talk to me on such a personal basis, since he seems so hard and crass. It made me think that God has me in this relationship to show him that there is acceptance and encouragement through people who love Christ Jesus. He knows where I stand in my belief, and I understand being unevenly yoked even in business, but the Lord still keeps me in this place. I trust Him. He may want to reach out and save one more, and maybe He can work through me for His purpose.
Christine Peisner // December 10, 2008 at 7:51 am
Regardless of our faith or culture, we are all human beings and, therefore, have some very basic things in common. I believe all people want to be loved and treated with respect and dignity. Nobody wants to be judged or be made to feel “less than”. When I meet someone new, or interact with someone who needs Jesus, I try to just be a fellow human being. If there is a need that I can meet, I try to meet it. If I cannot meet the physical need, I try to meet the emotional need. There is always a spiritual need, even for those of us who walk with God…there is always prayer . One more thing…be real. None of really has it ALL together! To appear that way only prevents intimacy.
Nancy Robinson // December 10, 2008 at 10:47 am
Tri and I are in a purpose driven learning curve on using the internet for communication purposes. We both were not born with the computer chip but we realize the significance of it if we want to broaden our influence for the sake of the gospel. So we have begun our very own website about learning to live a more sustainable life which has been a bit of a stretch for both of us and yet we feel it could reach a group we could never have access to otherwise. I have had some real concern about it becoming public. Both Tri and I are very private people and yet very involved in the lives of a large vibrant church. Needless to say when we are at home we truly cherish and protect our solitude. Lately we have had some of our great and talented web guys encourage us to make it even more public which to be honest freaked me out. Our goal for this site is not for us to share our personal lives with the world but we are doing it in the hope that it would have a far greater Kingdom purpose. I know that Tri has shared a lot of our story in his books and also on Sunday mornings, but this is bringing it home in a very personal way. Our home is a refuge for us so we both really needed to hear the Lord for this one.
This morning I was praying about it and I am reading through the bible alphabetically right now and I am in 1 Corinthians 9 (remember yesterday’s scripture??? I didn’t because I didn’t read it). It is where Paul is saying in verse 22-23, “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” It really ministered to me about letting my concern go (not without using wisdom) and trusting that the Lord is in this.
I went upstairs to Tri’s study and was excited to share with him and found out that he used the same scripture for the post yesterday. I love how the Lord works. See ,if I would have been more sensitive to the Spirit I would have done the devotion yesterday and not had such a rough day yesterday struggling over this. But God knew I needed to hear for myself and this was such a sweet confirmation to me. Everyone has a uniqueness about their life that can be used for the Kingdom if we let it. So often fear or feelings of insignificance can get in the way but when you can feel the assurance that this may be God’s idea it gives you to courage to say Yes to Him and to take that first step.
He has always been so faithful to Tri and I as we seek him in these things that causes us to step out of our comfort and trust Him in what lies ahead. I love what “Please Forgive James” is doing. It is obvious the Lord loves bloggers.
Anonymous // December 10, 2008 at 10:48 am
In VLI, they repeatedly taught us that “all meaning is context dependent”. A scripture can never have a different meaning than the meaning it had for the original audience. To find that meaning, we must look at the context it was written in.
If we look at I Corinthians 9:19-23 in context, we must realize that Paul lived in a world that was divided by religious tradition and the clash of several different cultures (much like our world today). The Jews followed the Jewish laws and traditions to the unhealthy point that they rejected anyone who did not follow as they did, especially the Gentiles. This required Paul to observe the Jewish traditions while he was with the Jews, so that they would be willing to listen to his message. On the flip side, Paul did not “soap-box” about observing Jewish traditions when he was with the Gentiles as they would most likely have associated him with the Jews that had rejected them.
This is a good example of how to live in our times. Finding that common ground when we interact with other people is vital to helping them to feel like we are worth listening to. Many of the lost in our world today have been hurt by people who, in the name of the “church” come at them with the “I’m-going-to-change-you-so-you-can-be-good-enough-for-God” approach. If we approach the lost with this same attitude, we will create walls that we may never be able to get past. It’s important that we respect each person’s right to make their own decision.
I have experienced the power of this in my work place. I work with a man who is a devout atheist. He was very wounded by “churchy” people during one of the hardest times in his life. He and I differ on almost every point when it comes to religion or politics. However, we both enjoy script writing and this has opened several opportunities for me to build a rapport with him. Because of this similarity and the respectful way that we “debate” with each other, we are able to have an open dialogue. I have shared the gospel with him several times and I have faith that one day, one of those seeds will take root.
Grace Gambrell // December 10, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Nancy,
I love your heart and appreciate your vulnerability with all of us. It’s beautiful to see that our pastor and his wife are real people. You are both such an encouragement!
And Anonymous, I really like what you had to say about letting people make their own decisions. I think that’s how we can portray Jesus; because that’s what He did (and does).
Bob Overstreet // December 10, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I had been having some difficulty with this passage this week. Our Tuesday morning men’s group is studying John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart. As we have been looking at ourselves, we have been trying to peel back the layers of the onion on the “poser” that we all present to the world. The “poser” is a result of my fear to let anyone know my true self. If they do know my true self, I “know” they will find out I do not have what it takes. The “poser” is my lie to myself and, especially, to the world.
Paul’s passage has some similarity to this “poser.” When I first read this, I saw deception and faking. I then did some research on this passage. Various Christian critics point to this verse to “prove” that Christianity approves of and utilizes deception to convert people.
As one anti-Pauline Muslim writer puts it:
“The Christian missionaries are well-known for their deception in order to spread their so-called “God-given” purpose to spread the Gospel to the world. This approach is not alien to the missionary agenda, for it is founded upon the very words of Paul, who laid down deception as the missionary approach.” See http://www.bismikaallahuma.org/archives/2005/arabic-bible-calligraphy-expression-of-art-or-evidence-for-deception/
The Muslim writer then goes on to quote this passage from 1 Corinthians.
In honor of Mike Freeman, I looked further into what the original texts actually said. Dr. David H. Stern, in his Jewish New Testament Commentary, points out that
“Sha’ul [Paul] did not play charades in “becoming as” the people around him. What he did was empathize with them. He put himself in their position (hence the lengthy phrase I used to translate “became as”). He entered into their needs and aspirations, their strengths and weaknesses, their opportunities and constraints, their ideas and feelings and values – in short, to use the current vernacular, he tried to understand “where they were coming from.” In addition he made a point of doing nothing to offend them (10:32).”
In terms such as these, I can comprehend what Paul was trying to say to us. I need to put myself into the shoes of the person I am talking with. Only through understanding another ’s pain, past and context, can I reach across the gulf and pour the love and grace of Jesus over them.
This passage has also crystallized something I have been unable to put into a coherent whole concerning the issues of nativity scenes and atheists. What I have come to understand through this is that the atheists who placed their “Natural Manifesto” in the nativity scene in Washington State are to be prayed over not vilified. These poor souls have been hurt by religiosity and untruth and unbiblical teachings. That or they have never been exposed to Christ. They are in desperate need of Jesus. Instead of protesting and trying to shout them down, we as Christians should be praying and asking their forgiveness for their hurts and lack of knowing Christ. We should be reaching out to them to understand where they are coming from. Only then can we “speak their language.” Thus we become as them, as Paul did.
When I, as a Christian, preach, I do not reach anyone. If I preach, I am only posing and fake. When I, as a Christian, love, understand and emphasize, I have a chance to bring the Kingdom.
Marcus // December 10, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Isn’t Paul just saying “be a good friend to everyone”? If someone is happy say something to suit his mood. if he is worrying, give him comfort. We cannot force people to follow Jesus, we have to win their hearts, let them recognize that we are on their side; their fiends when they are sorrowful,in pain or turmoil, we will share theirproblems. then they will feel that we are suffering for them and be willing to listen to us. at least that is what i find in Paul’s words.
Marcus // December 10, 2008 at 10:59 pm
oops ! sorry we should be their friends, not their fiends!
TJ // December 15, 2008 at 5:40 pm
My heart is so overwhelmed with this! The Holy Spirit is revealing more and more everyday. I am at a job I worked at a couple years ago. Jesus and I have been through some things since the first time I worked there. I remember being put off by some of the “worldy” actions of my co-workers and I am so sure I came across as uptight and probaby even portrayed myself to think I was better than some of my co-workers. As they reached out to be my friend, I just didn’t see how. We were so different!! Wow how Jesus has changed my heart and opened my eyes. When he saved me I was in a very undesirable state and he wasn’t put off and I am sure he wasn’t surprised or imtimidated by my lifestyle, he just came up along side me, grabbed my hand and said come on girl, let me show you the way. I see now, that in order for people to see the Jesus in me, I do have to let them in, let them be a part of my life. I have asked the Lord to give me his heart for the broken hearted and hurting and I have found myself in the car sobbing, I think I need to make ammends to my non christian friends, I want so badly to be used by God and the fear is just going to have to go! It breaks my heart to see the way some have been treated by other Christians myself included. I am so sorry, I have been learning to remember something I used to say to myself and others. “If Jesus were standing right in front of you, what would he say? What would he do?” I certainly don’t see anywhere in the bible where he says, “You have a problem and you need to shape up!” Since the Law is written on the hearts of men, they know when they have done something wrong. The last thing they need is someone else in this hurting world to tell them. They need a friend to come along side them and tell them the GOOD NEWS. That’s the GOSPEL and its full of GRACE and MERCY and anyone who is preaching something other than the GOSPEL…………..in my opinion this broken and hurting world needs the GOOD NEWS.
Patti // December 27, 2008 at 8:30 pm
It never fails to amaze me how The Holy Spirit works. This was such a timely series for me. I do some independent freelance writing for The Post Register, a newspaper for Eastern Idaho. This is a predominately LDS region and the gay community is mostly stuck in closets, but communicate with blogs to the online newspaper. I began communicating with the gay community about 6 months ago. I have witnessed to some, who politely listen, but most have been so hurt and judged by self righteous churches that they are angry. I have actually directed them to this website and apologized for Christians who have forgotten who they serve. I have told them that Jesus loves them unconditionally. I will not judge these folks. It is not my place to judge them. When they come to know Christ, have a personal relationship and accept The Holy Spirit, they will wrestle with sin just like the rest of us. Until then, let’s stay out of politics and love on this community like Jesus would.
(The video above, “An Honest Discussion” is the best I have heard. I wanted to stand up and applaud!)
Thank you for this series. Thank you for this website.
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