As some of the conversations emerge around Monday’s post, there were some reoccuring themes that people shared. So, I thought I would mine this a little more today.
A number of posters commented on yesterday’s blog entry that they weren’t sure how risky they were really being. One person also mentioned how being risky meant risking more than “things.” And I agree. Oftentimes, the biggest risk we take isn’t one that’s financial or one of security, but that of reputation.
Simply by being open and sharing their thoughts in this forum, the very people who shied away from calling themselves risk takers or worried about not being risky enough were the very ones taking a big risk. That’s being a risk taker–risking your reputation.
Paul challenged the Corinthians to be more transparent. The key to reaching a broken world is through humility and transparency. The world is looking for people who are real. They want to know that the Truth you ascribe to is actually making a difference in the way you live your life.
So, for today’s discussion purposes, answer one or some of these questions:
1) Is being transparent difficult for you? Why or why not?
2) What is the greatest obstacle you face in being transparent before others?
3) How have you been transparent in the past and experienced and opportunity to share your faith with someone as a result?
- Tri
17 responses so far ↓
Ken Malgren // December 16, 2008 at 12:13 pm
For me, the obstacle to being transparent that I’ve dealt with, is building my character to the point that being transparent isn’t an embarassment. It’s easy to be transparent. Generally, if I think it, everybody knows where I stand. The hard thing is adjusting my thinking to be in line with the Word and what Jesus teaches. When my character falls in line with Christ, then it makes no difference what others think of me. Transparency for me, has been working toward letting Christ show in me.
Michael O'Malley // December 16, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Coming out of an addictive behavior seeking the approval of others and just admitting that drugs had consumed the majority of my live. was extreamly hard to do. To be vulnerable, open and to admit to the church the affairs of my past have not only been a chalange but an exersize in trust and love. It has only been through the experience of challenging my belief system with scripture, and just as imporant the love, understanding and the compassion of the church. That I look at life through new eyes. I have a new understanding of my identity, Which is in Christ Jesus. I look foward to becoming the person GOD will me to be.
Lisa // December 16, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Transparency has never been a problem for me since I became born-again. However, it has been often times very painful. Especially since as a baby christian years ago I thought everyone in church was a christian and experienced the Lord in the same way I do. I know now that is not true, but everyone who walks through the doors of the church is searching.
I have come to the conclusion recently that I must testify to what I have witnessed. I must speak the truth from my perspective. I have experienced the Lord not only through His word, but also by hearing (audibly) his voice. And no, He has not spoken to me in a booming voice, but in a very gentle and loving one. I have been transparent in my witnessing of Him and have not been met with alot of acceptance, but that is not my problem. I must testify to the Truth of my personal witness of the resurecting power of Christ in my life and that God did in fact raise Christ Jesus from the dead and that he is alive and well not only in believers, but I know physically in a glorified body even though I have yet to meet Him face to face. However, one day we will meet face to face and in the meantime I will love God with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself. The latter is a day to day adventure!
Dannielle Solberg // December 16, 2008 at 6:37 pm
My transparency has not been easy. I find myself adjust my way of talking and attitude according to the people I’m around. I’m sure this is not only to make a connection, but also to “fit in”. That may sound adolescent, however because I struggle with accepting His grace (I’m getting better) I want to belong. The problem I run into as a young Christian, and by young I mean I’m 27. I run into other Christians that I feel I can’t relate to because they are walking on a high level of intelligence that I don’t or can’t understand…I guess I do see my faith being so “deep”. What I long for is someone to give me God’s word in a way that’s easy to understand, but touches the very core of my needs, and convictions. I hope that as I continue to grow I will be able to bring people to Christ in that way.
Dannielle Solberg // December 16, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I meant I don’t see my faith being so deep…sorry for the typo!
Mike // December 16, 2008 at 11:24 pm
As I sit in front of this computer and ask myself the powerful question,” Am I being transparent?,” I get a little fired up with myself because I know how valuable transparency is to me, and how often I still wear a variety of masks. Wearing masks is what makes being transparent difficult.
I like entertaining the thought I’m always open and vulnerable, but I know I’m not. It wouldn’t work for me to constantly show my cards or wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m way too much of a total wildman for that and people would think I’m crazier than I am. Besides that, it just isn’t wise.
It is healthy in a forum like this to be vulnerable. It helps me grow and holds me accountable. I’d like to make more opportunities to present my genuine friendship and authentic concern in my daily life. I do think I frequently come by masks honestly because I can so easily get sidetracked with my own agenda.
It was pretty close to 12 months ago when I did an exercise with around 48 -52 different folks from amazingly different backgrounds, professions, and beliefs. It was an exercise designed to give and receive honest feedback. Interestingly seven times ( the largest percentage for me) the feedback answer was I was too proud. 6 times it was I was acting, and 5 times they said I was self righteous.
One of the questions was, “what feedback did I cry about?” The fact that self righteousness was potentially a trait I was cultivating brought me to my knees.
Another question was,” what feedback hit the hardest?” The answer,” I was acting and sad” injured the most.
The purpose of the exercise in giving and receiving feedback worked. It shed new light on how I am viewed. The feedback I most often poured out was self limiting, unfulfilled, and not living. That is a dreadful combination. It is especially hurtful when I think of the life Jesus brought to me. There should be no room in me for acting or self righteousness. And if I see others as not living, why am I not being more vulnerable and walking across the room to offer more support and friendship?
Obviously there is still more of that patronizing sin cycle that needs breaking.
Erika Olson-Stearns // December 17, 2008 at 12:11 am
Transparency seems to be the truth. Opening your heart and letting the truth shine through. Yes, I think being transparent is difficult for me. “What if I am rejected” and more importantly not seen for the beauty that is within me? Greatest obstacle I face about being transparent before others is being shunned for who I really am. In the past, I just believed in the Spirit so deeply with each bold move(literally to Hawaii by myself while pregnant and alone) I made, I was empowered to make another whether it be trusting a stranger on faith and feeling. I just let it all go. I didn’t live in main-stream society. I lived on the beach with my friend and woke up each morning not knowing the next move. I trusted God, and I shone brightly transparent for all to see. My mind set was totally different. I just jumped into my fantasy and trusted that through God and Jesus everything would be o.k. That’s what they were telling me. I danced in the streets with friends (no cars coming , of course), I talked to everyone with a smile, and I tried my best to spread God’s word through the Holy Spirit coming through me. It was an amazing freedom and high, and as I got back to Boise and started living in normal society, I am so distracted by all the noise and cell phones, and radios, t.v.’s, i-pods. I feel less connected and more judged because of the constant media reminder’s that we are not good enough just yet. I feel an almost sub-conscious pull to be insecure, shallow, and prettiest. I do not want this to be what is transparent in me. I need to find a way to speak about Jesus to other people, and find that light – the way I did when I was homeless. I had nothing else at that time and Jesus came full force into my life, he protected me and gave me the breath to speak to others about him. I think I have been so influenced by the media that I have made others’ fears my own. I see now that I need to draw near to God and Jesus’s heart and look to them for my thoughts. God is transparent by my definition above- TRUTH.
Comments and help are welcome.
Thankyou, Tri p.s. someday I would like to meet you.
Josh Mason // December 17, 2008 at 8:22 am
Transparency is a very difficult concept for me to completely comprehend. I think of a transparent object and understand that I should be able to see through it to what lies on the other side. It seems simple, but I see the definition, or concept, of transparency in an authentic Christian’s life as the removal of all barriers in my life – first so I can see God’s will for my life and secondly so I can allow others to see past all the junk/baggage/sinful tendencies in me to the light that is Jesus. I am striving to get to that point but true transparency is not as easy as it sounds. Unearthing the skeletons that lie deep down for others to see is a threat to my ego and pride. I guess that is what I really have to let go to be an authentic, transparent Christian disciple. Help me Lord!!
Patrick // December 17, 2008 at 3:36 pm
My level of transparency is often scaled to my level of trust I have for confidentiality with the ones I am attempting to be open and honest with. It has been said that trust must be earned, and so transparency does not come right away with new people for me. I am most transparent with those I know will keep my confidence. Working in the legal arena I liken this to the attorney client privilege. Too often I have seen people open up about deeply personal struggles in their Christian walk only to be ostracized through gossip and disapproval by the very ones they needed compassion from.
I often find it easier to be open and honest with those outside of the Church because they tend to be less judgmental and can more easily identify with individuals who struggle to overcome flaws in character or conduct.
I find my willingness to be open and vulnerable with non-Christians is my easiest way to gain the right to share with them my need for a Savior and Redeemer, and be able to help them see that God can and will meet them where they are at right now if they will be humble enough to ask Him to
Brenna // December 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Transparency has never been something that I have had problems with outside of the church – but inside those walls, or around those people, I clam up and try to keep conversations as superficial as possible.
Why? A part of it is because of my growing up in an extremely legalistic church, where sin was pretty hush-hush. It was especially hush-hush for pastors and their families. And guess what? I was a pastor’s kid. I was old enough to have that mentality of hush-hush sin branded into my head before we left, though thankfully that is the only thing that stuck.
I think another reason why it’s difficult for me to be transparent around church people is the secular world’s stereotype of a judgmental Christian. That is, I know there are some people who support that stereotype (or else it wouldn’t exist), and I’m always nervous of finding out that one of the church people I’ve been talking to is one of them.
Another factor is a chance conversation I had with someone when I was about 15. He had been talking to me about how great it was that my family is so involved in the church, and how awesome it is that my dad knows Greek and Hebrew and so on and so forth, and then he dropped the comment, “If you can’t be a good Christian, no one can.” I know he meant well, but that little bombshell has put a ton of pressure on me. If I am transparent about my faults and reveal that I’m not a ‘good’ Christian, how many people will lose hope? I know that’s right from Satan with the only purpose being to hinder me, but it still halts me in my tracks all the same.
katie. // December 18, 2008 at 10:30 am
I have no problem being transparent in my regular life; where I struggle being transparent these days is in church. When my heart is broken for things that do not line up with what “mainstream christianity” seems to value as moral issues. I know we are supposed to keep political conversation out of these blogs and even that is messing with my ability to relate inside my own church. Inside these walls, I am an overt christian, a covert democrat and a closeted liberal.
Is there room for me?
Somedays, talking with the right individuals I feel loved and accepted for who I am, for what I believe for the values of the Word that I hold dear – and other days, even with people I love deeply in this congregation, I feel as if I’m suddenly seen as “unsaved” when they find out about my leanings “politically”.
So, I think that talking about all of this stuff is great – but limiting the conversation to not be about politics, at all, is damaging – it continues to tell those of us that love the Lord with all our hearts, but disagree with certain political affiliations the American church has developed, that we are second-class citizens in the land of christianity.
Marcus // December 18, 2008 at 11:35 pm
In some ways Christian life is frightening. Jesus tells us that “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it”. We seek to “die” so that we may be born. The selfish self or ego that is always envious, greedy, selfish, hateful, calculating, grasping, jealous etc. perishes. It must die and our conscience and original mind within our hearts must become alive so that our true self that is one with God may be born.
But how in the world am I supposed to do this? It sounds great and I want to do it but how do I do it? It is impossible by my human effort alone. Even if I have absolute faith, align myself with God (as best as I know how) and ask Jesus to give me the strength to unite my mind and body to overcome my selfish ego and bring him into my life, my family and my community I still have to struggle my entire life, every day and even every moment.
Many people say we just have to ask Jesus into our lives; we are saved by faith alone. Yes by grace Jesus claims us as his adopted family. Yet James says “faith without works is dead” and I personally believe that I cannot ask Jesus to do everything for me; I don’t even want him to because I want to claim my own victory and find my own value. I feel I have to invest myself and make the determination to become a good man of integrity and transparency in the image of Christ, a Christ-like parent, spouse, brother and citizen not so that I can boast about how “realized” I am, but rather so that I can live for the sake of all people, and “be all things to all people”.
To do this I believe requires self evaluation and self honesty and that is hard for me. It is easy for me to hide behind arrogance and self deception. This “blog” conversation makes me brutally evaluate myself. Tri’s questions to us are making me consider my own sincerity – am I what I preach? How devoted am I to transcendent God rather than just myself and my own selfish heart? Am I treating others with respect and what am I doing to earn respect rather than demand it? Am I an agent of change, a solution to the problems or am I an obstruction, part of the problem with a selfish heart of complaint, resentment, fear, insecurity and lacking care or concern? Am I a comfort to Heavenly Father, consoling Him with my words and actions, wiping away His tears over this broken world or am I causing him more pain and grief?
This is very daunting and a constant, daily challenge. I find my self very lacking in many areas (and I have discovered a fear of exposing my heart on the internet) but I am a work in progress. I make mistakes but when I fall down I get up again. As Mother Teresa said (and I paraphrase) “We can’t all do great things, but we can all do small things well.”
To be an agent of change in the world I first have to fulfil my responsibility as a child of God to dominate my selfish desires, prejudices, resentments etc. with self control. The more I change the more I can become an agent of change. This is my determination.
katie // December 19, 2008 at 7:25 am
mother theresa said :
“in this life we can do no great things, we can only do small things with great love.”
Lucas // December 21, 2008 at 8:14 pm
<>
Ok, I’m conservative (not-so-closeted), but I’ve seen more veiled pot-shots on this blog against conservatives than against liberals (which means that there are a lot of liberals that call Vineyard home). You go to church with a few people that are pro-life to the maximum, and on the other hand there are plenty of Obama08 stickers in the parking lot. You should be happy and amazed that this is the case. And, I consistently find blogs on the statesman that include staunchly non-partisan members of the Vineyard. I imagine there are churches where we can all have our political opinions echoed back to us. There is nothing wrong with experiencing people that are politically other than you. The point of the Vineyard stance on political speech is that Jesus is more important than politics. If people other than you come to this site and don’t like the politics, they may decide not to give Jesus that 30-day trial. All we are doing is taking one more excuse not to seek Jesus off the table. I disagree at times too, but on the other hand, I am willing to stop being a political junkie, when I enter that sanctuary.
Sean // December 24, 2008 at 9:35 am
The Psalmist says “Be still and know that I am God.” (Ps. 46:10)
It is in the infinite silence that we can experience and find His infinite wisdom, infinite source of renewal, hope and goodness; but also we can tap into and feel the great sorrows and pains of God. In those moments when we transcend our finite notions rationale and intellect we tap into the ultimate source of goodness, Love, wisdom and our Original mind.
The silence is so profound, so penetrating that any demarcations or boundaries between you and another, me and God, me and the world fall away. You are directly touching the Original mind that is God, infinite, powerful and pervading everything. All notions of me and you disappear. Here in the silence we feel one with God, we sense His Love and we experience His suffering, His agony for all his children that He feels all the time. Even the worst of individuals have an Original mind connected to Him. Even the most hardened criminals are God’s children, who He loves infinitely and eternally.
Because of His love for us we can join in a moment of vastness, open horizons, infinite unity. Our hearts, by God’s love are able to feel the sorrow and suffering of the world. Because of this experience in prayer we fundamentally experience the unity of the world – that we are all God’s children. Our sense of the boundaries of our self are utterly changed – it is expanded to experience all of humanity and creation.
We can feel so deeply the pain of the mother who cradles that we actually become that mother. We also become the child dying in her arms. We are the fathers who kill other fathers in the name of righteousness. We are oppressed being sold into slavery and prostitution, we are the rich, the poor, the “free”, the oppressed; we are not separate from the world – we are part of humanity’s joys but unfortunately its ills as well.
Our heart becomes so vast in such moments of silence. We cannot even rationalize it during those moments of pure silence, but when we stir and emerge from that prayer our intellect is ignited and tries inadequately what has just been experienced. We try to describe the silence in terms of “this or that” but ultimately fall short of explaining its profundity. This being the case, however, we are changed.
We have experienced something utterly different from our normal mode of consciousness that we experience in our daily life. You know the one that says, “oh, he’s black, she’s white, he’s Spanish, he’s gay, she’s a liberal,” etc. But when we have a profound experience of prayer in the stillness and wisdom of profound silence all these labels stop, all these differentiations halt, we experience God’s heart that is within all.”
Matt Gambrell // December 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Sean,
That is beautiful. I am already at peace just thinking about this simple scripture with so few words but huge meaning. This bring a lot of clarity for me. I often worry and strive to let my ideas and thoughts be known…always yacking inwardly and outwardly. Again this is so beautiful…thanks for sharing this. It is very timely for me.
Matt
Grace Gambrell // December 26, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Matt, I agree. Sean this is so well-written; my soul agrees. That place of deep prayer, of brokenness for someone, of aching for his or her pain – this is communion w/ Jesus in His suffering. I often feel I have to have a way to explain this to someone. I also frequently feel I need to have some project to do something about it. While the Lord does often break our hearts to motivate us to act in a new way or in a way which is for the broken, I think He also wants us to simply feel His heart. And this place of prayer is His invitation to deep intimacy.
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